Wrangling Up Bliss Creek!

I was doing irrigation one day, and it was a baaad day for it. The mud was a mess, and I had to carry half a fields worth of pipes to the other side of the field. And...our cousins just got back from hunting and were telling stories and such. Along with doing irrigation though, I was thinking how the summer just flew by and-like I think every year--How I had all these plans to do more things this summer, but still didn't do as much as I wanted to do. "Da -dink dalafa daaaa, bah ling!!"  "Da-dink dalafa daaa, bah ling!" "Oh great." I thought "My hands are muddy and I really don't feel like answering the phone. I should just not answer it. Well, maybe I should...who cares about a little bit of mud anyway?" Little did I know that that phone call would brighten my whole end-of-summer blues!

Turns out that the phone call was from my good friend and riding buddy, Tiffany. Our neighbor whom we both know is an outfitter had one of his guides quite on him, so his old wrangler got promoted as guide...leaving him with no wrangler. His girlfriend had asked Tiffany if she would be interested in the job, and Tiffany-being a gal who'd never done anything like that before but always thought it would be fun wasn't so sure she wanted to go up by herself. After she thought about it though, she thought about me :-) So, she said she'd go up if I could go along with her. (Yeah, I guess I have to admit that it DOES take two girls to equal one guy...at least in this case! Shhh, it's a secret though. Don't tell them that!) Apparently they talked it over and it was okay with them because I was asked to go along and help them for the week.

Although I'd gone hunting with my dad and brothers quite a bit I was really nervous about this. Not because of bears and such, but that I wouldn't be as much of a help to them as someone a little more experienced. Everybody has their own style of packing and such. Plus I knew the saddles would be heavy! (heehee) Never-the-less I was super stoked about this trip!

We went the day before to meet the other guides and get a little run-through on what we would be doing for the week. I was thinking of big bearded, rough, nasty-mouthed men with cold hard eyes that would expect me to know exactly what I was supposed to do...so I meet the other guides and all my nervousness disappeared. Here were two other smiling guys close to my age that were like super nice and polite. You know, the kind of guys that offered me a chair and called Tiff and I ma'am (Wow, culture shock! I don't know if I've ever been called ma'am before that!) Not only that, but I could tell that Tim, the owner/boss was going to be a great guy to work for. He was very helpful in patiently explaining everything, not to mention his outstanding sense of humor!

I spent the night before at Tiffany's house. We got up at three in the morning to meet Tim and head on up to the trail head. Once there we saddled up the clients horses whilst Tim and the guides did all the pack saddles. Yeah, it took us ridiculously long because we had to fit each saddle and britchen to the mules and such, plus we didn't know the mules/horses names yet, so they had to tell us each saddle that went on each horse. Never-the-less we did end up getting it done and the clients showed up. After giving a 'bear spray' lecture, fitting them with a scabbard and saddle we were on our merry way!

The beginning of the ride I rode behind Ken who quickly became my favorite client because he reminded me so much of my favorite guy I used to work for.

It was a 22 mile ride back into the campsite, so it took us a good 10-12 hours to get there with two small breaks, but the ride was absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I fell in love with the trail right away. Our job on the way up was to help the clients off and on their HUGE mules, tighten cinches, etc. Basically doing whatever common sense stuff there was to do. :-)

Tim leading his string across the river

Tim lead the way with his string of ten pack mules. Following that was Tiff or I, a couple clients, Patricia-the camp cook, couple clients, the other of Tiff or I, and then Travis and Andrew-the guides both leading strings of pack mules.

Riding to find the 'pocket'

The first day up we got up at three o'clock to saddle the clients mules. At breakfast we got to go back to bed and sleep till 10:30! After that we would get up and do some chores around camp. Fill water buckets, pick up trash, clean the cache, water the mares that stayed in the corral, clean the tents, fill water and wood etc. Then we rode up the trail a ways to find one of the 'pockets' that the horses would wander to at night. It was a totally gorgeous day, and perfect for a short little ride. (a short ride this day was good, because I was starting to feel a little stiff from riding the two days before!)

Tiffany

Because there were two of us it didn't take very long to get our 'chores' done. Although we were always able to find something to do, most of the time we got our main chores done by noon, ate a relaxing lunch, then if the horses/mules didn't come in on their own we would ride out and bring them in. After that maybe start a fire in the shower tent for water to starting heating up, do misc stuff until four and then grain and salt the livestock. That took a little longer than I expected because we had to catch and tie up all thirty horses and use grain bags (Because of bear safety) But, like I said, there were two of us so it made it easy on both of us :D

The 'potty' tent

 I totally LOVED the camp and set up. It was the cutest little village you ever did see! There were two hunters tents, the girls tent, the guides tent, Tims tent, a tack tent, a cook/dining tent, a shower tent (Yes, we had heated showers up there!) And the cutest but not necessarily my favorite one was the 'potty' tent. As you can see in the picture above, we had a little 'flag' that would be up if available and down if in use. Maybe I should mention that the zipper to this particular tent didn't work, so I flag was a necessary part for my own sense of security :-p It was cute!

Horses coming in with Tiff and Blackie-the bear dog.

Most days Tiff and I split up to wrangle the horses, she went down the trail and I went up. Only one day we had plenty of time so she decided to show me some the places they liked to go to, and thus far they'd always been on her side so we headed out, and then we got word that they came in on their own from 'my' direction. Since Patricia put them in while we were out we decided to take another trail on the other side of the meadows back, and somehow....got off on the wrong trail and and to make our own way back to camp. Yup, we're the trailblazers :) Poor Tim, he was so good about all our 'dumb' stuff we did! In fact, he was a hoot! His hunter got his sheep the first day, so he hung around camp the rest of the week. 

Tiff bringing in the horses/mules

 Two of the hunters had good luck the first day, so on the second day Tiff went with Tim and his hunter to pack out the sheep, and I went with Andrew and Ken to help pack out the elk. That was also a lot of fun. At this point I started to realize that the fairly quiet Andrew I knew could be quite the talker! He and I packed and lead the mules out while Ken came behind (At least while we had to walk downhill) Boy, his personality started to  come out! I had to shake my head and wonder if it was the same guy I helped pack on the first day. :-) He was a hoot and it was fun to see him open up a little...uh, I mean a LOT!

The "cook" tent

I think my favorite part of the day was after all the hunters came in and we unsaddled the horses we would go in for some of Patricia's fine cooking. The hunters would all tell their stories and joke around. They were all very nice guys and so much fun! I think they kinda liked to pick on Tiffany and I because we were new and did some crazy stuff. So, we got blame for doing things that we didn't really do...like hanging a bell outside the hunters tent and ringing it anytime Herb fell asleep. (The real culprit was my favorite mule, Reba, who although she always hung around camp had a bell on her.) The hunters were all so good to us. I loved them!

Patricia the camp cook

 Like I said before, the food was amazing! We're talking about fresh home-made bread and delicious steaks and chicken and spaghetti and cakes, and BBQ ribs, and dessert every night...

Patricia with Blackie

 Patricia was a lot of fun too! She was a lot like Tiff and I...really laid back and willing to do whatever needed done. She was great at talking and entertaining, so whenever Tiff or I didn't need to do anything we'd go in the cook tent and hang out with her. Hopefully we'll get to see her down the road in life sometime...in fact, Tiff and I still owe her a cooking and doing dishes sometime for that time she put the horses away while we were swimming through the willows trying to get back to camp. :-)

Ol' Corral

Every night we would pick out which rider was going to take which mule, then we'd tie them up and let the rest out for the night. After the whole week was over I FINALLY learned almost all of the names. Wait, let me take that back, I knew the names after about two days...it was being able to tell the difference between which mule had which name! Maybe I should mention that Tims whole string of ten mules looked exactly alike! We had to go by tiny little things like 'pointed hips,' 'a little more white hair on the nose,' 'pointed v on the tail' 'a little cloudy in the eye,' and 'if it isn't Rooster, Rusty, or Baxter, then it must be----' But, I did learn them all...I think! Of course, after I got them all sorted out Tim would come out and say "Oh, you have Rooster, you're supposed to get Baxter" After scratching my head and wondering how I could get so mixed up I'd start turning around and he's say "What are you doing? You HAVE Baxter :-p" 

The 'tack' tent

 On the third day camp became a little more populated. Those that had luck got to stay in camp and fish or relax. We had ribs, fish, and sheep steaks for supper that night. :D

Camp

The days were perfect, because even though we didn't have to 'run' to keep up with the work, we were still able to keep busy enough, but still in a very relaxed way. It was so rejuvenating! 

Before dark we would go through the tents and light everybody's fires and turn the lanterns on, and check the water in the shower tent.

The corral and bear cache

Every night after dinner and catching, belling, and turning the horses out we would 'bear proof' the camp. Take the trash to the cache, check everybodys saddlebags for food, take the cache ladder down, etc. etc.

Add caption

On the fourth night we, or at least I, suspect a bear came through camp. All of a sudden I heard a horse running full speed through camp, knocking logs off and what-not. We got up and my horse which had been picketed had pulled out her entire two foot steak out of the ground and was snorting enough clouds to make it rain the rest of the week! She was shaking all over. Although I didn't find any bear tracks the next morning it sure makes me wonder because she's normally so careful when being picketed that she barely moves. Maybe I should note that this is big time bear country and a bear had been hanging out right where she was picketed a week before. To bad it had to be on the first night it snowed, because we FROZE being in just our night clothes wandering around camp during the middle of the night! Poor Tiffany, she stayed out and helped me build a rope corral for my cloud-making dragon!

The 'girls' tent

It warmed up some the next morning, and although it was pretty much cold from then on out the sun did shine that day. Tiffany and I had some time that day to talk and both of us felt the same way...we were having such a good time, and the people we were with felt like family to us. We didn't want to leave our 'new family' and never see them again! A good long hot shower at home did sound tempting though. By this time the black around and under our fingernails and hands looked like we were professional mechanics!

Our water source

Because of the dry weather this year they had a fire ban up. So even though 'up there' was plenty moist apparently other places were dry and the guys in offices didn't lift the ban, so on the last day Tiffany and I decided that it just wouldn't be right to leave without having one roasted marshmallow! So, we spent an hour in our tent with the wood stove door open roasting marshmallows and partying before our nightly chores. Hooray for roasted marshmallows!

Tiffany

View 

Bear track

First day of hunters luck

Guides: Andrew, Travis, and Eli

I started thinking of the guides according to their personalities. So, Andrew...keeps his name, but he was an exciting fun-loving guy. He loved his chewing tobacco, so every time I think of him I think of him with tobacco :p Travis became Billy Goat Gruff after the first day because his hunter said as soon as they got off the horses the first day he took off straight up the mountain like a billy goat...and that he almost killed them. haha And although Eli doesn't know it, I dubbed him Mountain Man, because he'd been back in for like a month straight before we got there, and loved it up there. He had a deep voice, a beard, and...just seemed like a Mountain Man. :D

After it snowed

What I really thought was cool was that the two hunters that were everybodys 'favorites' were Christians. It was so neat to have them come back every night and talk about the wonderful world that God created! They  talked about God a LOT, but because they were just so cool and nice and friendly they became everybodys favorite, and they didn't seem to mind the 'God talk'. They had the love and respect of the other hunters, and guides, to be 'cool' and yet 'set apart' enough to be amazing witnesses to Him!  It was so good for me to witness that, because they were so BOLD in their witness for the Lord! They literally talked about God, His creation, His love, and everything else about Him every time I seen them. It was good for me too, I loved having fellow Christians to fellowship with. Between them, Tiffany and I,  I felt a strong bond that we had something mighty in common. Although I know it's not possible, I sure do wish I could see them again! Maybe that's why it was so hard for me to want to leave my 'family.' There was just something about knowing you'll never see these people again, and I wanted to hug them all to my chest and have them forever!

Every turn you took had a full 'new' view

I think this trip was really the BEST thing God has ever done for me! Somehow I think he heard my hearts cry this past summer. With all the deaths of the people I've worked for my heart was just crying for a break, yet there wasn't time to grieve, because there was always someone else that I needed to give my heart to. And that was great, but after my job ended I just felt dead. I wasn't sure I wanted to stay in the same line of work, but at the same time didn't think I could ever do anything else. The month and half break I've had to 'grieve' and pull it back together, think, relax, do camping and things that I've been wishing I could do, along with make a little money on this trip, getting in a little more horse time in, meeting awesome and fun people, having a guy that reminded me SO MUCH of my favorite 'guy/client' along, spending time with other Christians, and watching God work through other people, doing things I LOVE...it's all sort of brought back my zeal to live, and not just live, but to live as part of God's creation-living for Him and having that awesomeness of being in the greatest kind of a relationship He created us to have that only His children can know about. I somehow feel closer to him...like He planned this whole thing out just for me, because He knew that this would be the best thing for me and loves me enough to lovingly give it to me!

Wrangling 

Hup hup! C'mon guys, time to head to camp!

I loved bringing in the mules/horses!

Taking out bones

 Another job we  had was to take out 'bones.' After de-boning the meat from the hunters luck we had to pack them far enough away from camp so the bears would hang out 'over there' instead of getting food by camp. It was fun to go for a sweet little ride. Again, both Tiffany and I didn't need to go, but hey, we were only ONE person, right? 

Dropping off bones

Tiffany and her horse Arlie Byrd

After dropping off the bones

'Shower tent'

The shower tent was really neat! As you can see in the picture above, there was a wood stove to the left with a pannier on top full of water and a spigot. The other pannier was the bear proof box for everybodys toiletries required for everything to 'bear proof.' You can see the bucket with a shower head up top, we'd fill it with hot water, then pull it up with the little pulley-thing and hook the rope on a nail. We even had a shower mat shaped like a foot to stand on :) And rugs on the floor. You can't see it in the picture, but there was a chair made out of a log I was standing on. And, because of the fire being started early to get and keep the water hot it was always warm in there!

My trusty girl! 

Beautiful sight!

Blackie the bear dog

Heading out

Going home was COLD! That morning the guides wrangled (Maybe it's because Tim was afraid we'd get lost in the willows again and he wanted to get home?) so we saddled and packed. We couldn't hardly used gloves because it was hard to adjust straps and britchens....so yeah, I froze pretty much the whole way home! Not only that, but my mare was being a pickle on the way out...luckily the clients had been on horses all week and got lots of practice getting on and off a lot, so I didn't need to help them much, I don't know how I would've handled her otherwise!

I love pack strings!

Think the clients are thinking of 'home sweet home?'

Peaceful and serene

  I never really did get a good picture of Tim. But oh what a character! Although I knew him before, I know him so much better now. Everything we said or did he would say "Why?" I'll have to admit, it left me blank most of the time. Maybe I think and say things before thinking why to much :p
He had a cool hat that had bear teeth around it. I don't know why I had to mention that. It was just cool and characteristic to me I guess...

Tim

Goodness! What a long post! I know it's probably really boring, and going through it to me just doesn't do justice. There were so many memories and little things that just can't be said or explained. In reality I got very little pictures, and the ones I did get just don't seem the same! In fact, in looking over this I just feel like deleting the whole thing, but it took so long...

So....

Happy Trails!!

Will I Ever Be Normal (Again)?

I realize it's been awhile since I've blogged...there has been so much to write about, so many things to say, and so much going on, but somehow I haven't been able to have the heart to write about anything. I hate to say it, but I've been a little down in the dumps the last while :(


Because of the deaths of some of the dearest people I've worked for, the last couple months have been really hard for me. 


I know that in my line of work that is to be expected, but there are times when you just lay awake at night and think of the bittersweet memories. Through it all I have to wonder..."Will I ever be normal again?"


There are some things in life that I just can't do anymore because the memories are just to bittersweet to do without the searing pain that comes when I think about the special times I've had with 'My people'

I have such fond memories of when I'd sit with a dear gentleman and listen to old-time country and western music. He was a yodeler and we spent MANY hours sitting quietly listening to music, or him humming, or just in plain silence...I can't listen to old-country music anymore.


Or when another gentleman who was in so much pain while I was there, but was such a brave soul! We would get up a couple times a night and his only comfort was food. He loved eggs fried in lots of butter with really buttery toast (Just like me) so we would snack and drink coffee...and I loved him so deeply! I don't think I've ever connected with anyone so quick as easily as I did with him. I also got to witness (And feel the Presence) as he seen an angel. That in itself was so absolutely amazing...I can't eat fried eggs anymore, I just get sick to my stomach with heartbreak.


There was the time when I had to get rid of  my dogs and the lady I was working for at the time seen my tears one night, although I was trying my best not to show it. I'll never forget how she wrapped her arms around me and held me while I cried...and although she had Alzheimers pretty bad, first thing in the morning before even getting dressed she came into my room to see how I was doing and make sure I was okay. When I lost my much anticipated foals this spring I just LONGED to crawl into her arms again, to have a shoulder to cry on...I can't go through deep heartbreak without wishing she was here with me.


The lady that would spend hours visiting with me about the Lord, and encouraged me to stay strong in Him, who later begged her kids to make sure I was with her when she passed away.


The lady who ate jello with me every night, and refused it any other time because that was 'our special thing' between the two of us.


There are so many more memories. Memories that I don't have time to share, or the heart to think about. Everyone I worked for was so SPECIAL!! Some people were easier than others, and some were so short term I haven't had time to get to know very well, but I've never worked for anyone long term that I didn't end up just learning to love with all my heart.


And...as the time goes on the pain gets less sharp, the constant thoughts become less and less frequent. I start seeing beauty in life again. I find it in my heart to have the guts to start working for someone else and deciding to love them with all my heart. But every time I start doing one of the 'special things' that I used to do my heart cries. The pain/memories that I thought would eventually go away that's hidden way deep down still surfaces even years after they're gone. It makes me wonder...will I ever be normal again? Is there ever going to be a time in life when I can't do ANYTHING without thinking of a special someone? Is it possible to love someone too much, like to the point of not being able to get over the memories?


I don't know...but I DO know that each of these people were a special answer to prayer. Truthfully I'm always scared to death to start new jobs, and I always pray that the Lord will give me a love for the person I'm going to work for, that they'll be able to see and feel that love...the love that He loves them with and I have the privilege of getting to pass it to them. And I'm so thankful that each time He saw fit to answer my prayer in the way that I've longed for and give me that love that helps me overcome fear =)

Getting Excited

I'm getting so excited for the next three weeks!

May 25th is a special day for more than just me. First off it's both Dad and Moms Birthday. Also, it's the due date for my sisters second baby. AND it's the due date for 'my' baby. No need to worry though, 'my' baby is actually my mares foal! 

We are also having a couple families from Gospel Express Prison Ministries down and doing a music festival that evening. 

Whew! Things have been getting extremely busy here! We started up the irrigation yesterday. So between that taking an extra hour every morning and evening maybe it's a good thing I won't be able to ride my horse for a month :)

A Combo :D

Recently I've done a personal blog post on my family's blog and put a bunch of pictures on facebook. However, since I have some different readers on my blog than the families, and since not everybody got to see the pictures I put on facebook I decided to combine the two and make it into another post. Sorry to those few of you who read the families blog AND are on my facebook :p


These two posts really don't have much in common, but they ARE both about horses (And my obsession with them) so I am allowed to combine them. Right?!?! After all, it's not totally the same...I changed a word here and there-ish.

These here are pictures of my mare :)

 Yup! She is def prego!

 I absolutely love her mane!

 Baby is getting big...no back cinch :)

 Oh, so fun!

 Yeehaw!

 Let's try some counter-flexing here

Doing the 'running walk...' which I have a hard time getting her into

 Yup, I sore do...

 Love this...

 Horse 'o mine!

Last week I had the coolest opportunity to buy the most awesomesthorse! He is a (registerable) 4 year old Tennessee Walker gelding that not only is a half brother to the foal I'm expecting, BUT related in three different ways to Roy Roger's horse Trigger (Jr.) The part that I liked the best was that he was extremely cheap :D So, I did what all smart people do and bought him!

However, I have been struggling with making sure my priorities are in the right place. Because of taking reigning classes with my mare the past 6 weeks I've spent an extreme amount of time riding and working with my horse. And even though that in itself is not wrong, I've started feeling like I've been placing that above some other things important to me. (Like spending time with my siblings, or doing my share of the work) So after praying about it I decided to place it on the Lords hands, and be willing to do whatever He wants me to do.

I heard my Uncle was looking for a horse, so I decided that I'd sell it to him for the same price I bought him for, and if he bought him, fine. If he didn't I'd train him for a few months and sell him at a nice profit later on this year (Or next :)) Or maybe even keep him...it would be so cool to have a horse related to my favorite star, and he sure looked like he'd turn out to be an awesome one! I asked the Lord to lead in whatever way He wanted for me.

My uncle did end up buying him, and as much as I'm tempted to be depressed because I like him so much and feel like I gave up a deal of a lifetime, I am also glad because I do know in my heart that I decided to give it to the Lord, and I feel like this is His answer to prayer. It's better for me, my family, and definitely for my uncle, of whom I may tend to be a teeny tad bit jealous of :p lol

 As much as I LOVE working with horses I've been feeling like the Lord has been telling me to quit making it as much of a priority. However, now that that is over and done I'm having some serious drawbacks, and as much as I want to (and thought I did) give it over to the LORD I find myself a little bitter-ish or angry-is that that is what He wanted me to do...and I cry...a lot because of my own selfishness. I know that He had His hand in this, but if all of you all could pray for me I would REALLY appreciate it.  =)

I used to have that!

Heat surged into my face as my heart sank into a searing pain--pain coming from a sense of loss and hurt pride. Keeping my head down in fake concentration to the supper I was making. Embarrassment comes rather hard to me, as they say everybody struggles more with either jealousy or pride, and mine is definatly pride! 

Karissa had come home from work saying how our niebor had told her he seen my horse weaving all over the road the other day. "You're gaining a reputation, Julie!" My brother announces when he heard the story. I'm pretty sure he was also referring to last summer when, after getting off my horse to tie my shoe two miles away (She was nervous and jumpy, thus keeping me from wanting to do it in the saddle) and I let go of her rope for just a teensy tinsy little bit--basically long enough for my horse to realize it and take off running down the road as fast as a horse can go towards home, and I, trying to look like a casual walker out for a leisurely stroll start heading home. A niebor that I knew from BSF stopped by and offered a ride, so I admitted to her that my horse took off without me :p Meanwhile, another neibor who seen me head out came to the conclusion that I must have been thrown, so he takes off on the 4-wheeler to catch my horse. Dad happened to be coming home from town at the time, and wondered what in the world our neibor was doing holding a riderless horse that look suspiciously like mine, only to find out it had our brand on it! Oh, and I didn't mention that I lost both stirrups in the process, so later spent two hours on the 4-wheeler driving back and forth, back and forth until I could recover all the pieces. Perhaps Joe was also talking about last year when I hopped off my horse to discipline my new dog, who stopped where some neibors were working on their fence and wouldn't 'come on' with me, and the little teeny tiny moment that I let go of my reins gave my horse just enough time turn her head away and...yup head home as fast as her legs would carry her. Grrr Whatever the case, I don't think the fact that I'm gaining quite the reputation could be argued against.

"Don't these neibors know ANYHTHING about horses? Of COURSE  she was weaving on the raod, she was scared of that backhoe bucket and I was trying to get her to walk up to it. I mean, that's the reason I took her out  in this 50 mph wind was because she gets so spooky in it and needs to be worked in it more. But, they ARE from CA!"

So many people who's never had a horse see movies and dream of the perfect horse that, not only can run for miles on end, but loves it. They have no idea of the time and effort it takes just to teach a horse to willingly walk away from the barn, or to stand still ground tied when you jump off for a minute (Believe me, I know THAT takes time!) They think a horse lives and dreams about what a wonderful relationship he can have with  you. And, I have to say that there is NOTHING more wonderful than having a beautiful realationship with your horse!

What many of our newer neibors don't realize is that I used to have that!

His registered name was Secret Weapon because of the story about a baseball player that was so short they called him their 'secret weapon' because no pitcher could pitch inside his strike zone, because he was short. 

Later we started calling him George because a friend came out to ride him and said he reminded her of a guy named George and the name stuck ;)

 Dad had given him to me as newborn foal. He didn't realize it, but to me it was a miracle because he'd always said that he wasn't going to give horses to the girls-they could ride his--God answers prayers though, even when they are sometimes selfish, and at a point in my life I didn't think I could LIVE if I didn't have my own horse!

 He taught me patience. First off because I had to wait at least three years to ride him, and next off it was the first horse I've ever trained from the start. I realized there was a difference between just making the horse obey, and actually teaching/training a horse what something means from the beginning.

 In a way he was my soul mate. I spent MANY hours just being around him, doing school on his back, taking a nap between his legs when he was lying down (NOT something I would recommend btw! I was young and stupid at the time) teaching him how to kiss and bow--only to later have to 'untrain' him in those areas because I never knew how to teach him to do it only upon cue. (Yeah, farriers generally don't like it when your horse tries to lay-down/bow when you pick up their feet!)

 He knew how to tell what I was thinking. Eventually we were able to go saddless and bridleless anywhere I wanted to go, and many times we would go down the the road beside the lake and canter galore! I learned to read his every thought also. He LOVE to do a slow collected lope on ANY new road we took. It was kind of  our trade-mark =)

 He did have his quarks. Because I'm hardly ever able to go up in the mountains he never really was a good mountain horse. He had quite the personality, and he became quite 'companyized' He learned it was pretty cool to do dumb things when  inexperienced people tried to ride him...gaining a reputation among those.

 But he also taught others how to ride. It was so awesome to see younger kids get so excited when they ran for the first time, or to put my little siblings on him bareback and they could just ride around the house and know he wouldn't kill them :p

 Eventually I decided that maybe I should sell him because I'd 'adopted' a wild horse and never really had the time to train her. It was a hard decision, and one that I would never ever do again, but we all have our weak moments, and because he was smaller and did have a hard time keeping up with the other horses I thought I would like a horse with a little more endurance, along with the fact that he was worth more since the new mare I bought was basically worthless since she was only green broke and still so spooky. I sold her to a wonderful lady who's riding style reminded me so much of my own. (He was basically a one-mans horse, thus being great at reading my mind, but not quite as certain what others expected when others rode him) She fell in love with him right away, and he seemed to be able to 'read' her just as he did me. I am ever so grateful she was the one who bought him, because he was so special to me, and I don't think others with different styles would have been able to appreciate him nearly as much.

 Since then I have been able to spend more time with my 'wild' mare, and have to remind myself that it took seven years to get George to the point he was at. At times it's hard not to panic, because I don't want to wait that long! Along with the fact that she is a very alert horse and tends to spook easily it may take longer---if she ever does get to that point. We've had good times, and then we've had bad times. (Obviously!) I love her though, and am looking forward to the day I can ride her to town with cars and motorcycles whizzing by and her not make one peep :-)

Still, every time I see  picture of a horse bowing down, or kissing, or relaxed while their rider takes a break. Someone standing on their horses back. A bombproof, spook-less horse, someone running bareback. I just can't help but think....

"I used to have a horse like that!"

Of New Years Resolutions

This year I've had a hard time coming up with a New Years resolution. My last one was to not drink any pop/soda. I've broken it a few times, but other than at one of my friends weddings that I was helping out, and gulped down like 6 glasses of punch without realized till like three days later that it had ginger ale in it, it was only a sip from my siblings glass before realizing 'oh yeah, this is pop.' I'm pretty proud of myself :-)

I have a standing resolution to read at least a chapter of the Bible every day. I realize that that isn't a hard one, and I highly recommend reading more than that, but it would be a lie to say that I've ever kept it the whole year through. As much as I would like to, with my job schedule I can't 'plan' on any certain 'quiet time'. It all depends on who I am working for, and what schedule I am on, but there is no way I can predict (On the days I work, or have 24 hr shifts) what my clients are going to need, nor when they will wake up or go to bed, or what they will be doing throughout the day. So, as of yet as much as I hate to say so, I have never gotten through the whole year yet. Maybe this year!! I do think it is good to have that as a standing resolution though :-) And of course, read more than that on days it is possible to do so.

With that said, I have decided that my 'other' resolution wasn't going to have to do with being or making myself more spiritual--and here's why.

So many of us decide we want to 'do something for the Lord' and make our own plans to become what we think we should be for Him. Not that that is wrong in itself. It is good to have personal goals, and give ourselves to the Lord. But, what if what we needed at the beginning of the year isn't what we need nine months later? So well do I remember the time I decided to spend a certain amount of time with the Lord alone every day, either reading my Bible or in prayer. It was good for me, and I learned so much the first couple weeks when I had my ultra concentration on learning. However, as the year went on there were days that were just so busy. I would read a chapter, look at the clock and realize that it had only been two minutes, read another two and a half minutes...and so on. Or there were the instances when I would be reading with my eyes, but my brain was completely in a different place, or praying, but realize I was saying the same things over and over, but with no real sincerity in it.

The breaking point came to me when one day my sister walked into the room during my 'quiet time' and asked me something. I told her quite firmly that this was my 'quiet time' and under no circumstances was I to be bugged during that time. A few minutes later my sister came in (I can't remember if it was the same one or not) and tried talking to me. Anger started to boil down inside me. Couldn't they see that I'm spending time with my Lord?!?! Don't  they realize how hard it is to try to get some alone time in a house where 6 girls shared the same bedroom? I blew up, telling her how un-christian it was to even think about bugging me. I gave myself to God, and was going to give Him my time no matter how I had to do it!

As the days and weeks went on my sisters learned to hate dislike my 'time with God'. They would tip-toe around the room (Not literally :p) and learned to never talk to Julie when she was having her worship. The days we had company were really hard on them, because of late nights and early mornings, and Julie can't help because she's doing her 'time.'

One day I realized that my 'time with the Lord' wasn't doing me any good! Yes, there were days when the Lord showed me something, and I learned a lot. But there were also many days when I just skimmed over as fast as I could, and prayed for the same person over and over...and the part that tore at my heart was that my dear siblings couldn't come to me at just any time during the day and 'talk' between work, regular housework, family time, ect. The only alone time they could've possibly gotten in with me was the 'not allowed to talk' time. I wasn't as close to them, and I had a feeling that they had a fear of my blow-ups that occasionally came up. I can't explain it, but it still tears my heart up when I think about how I tried to shun all others because I wanted to become a better Christian, and I wanted to keep my resolution. Thankfully I think the Lord showed me that it wasn't the time I spent with Him, but the application and the heart. I wonder if I had kept going down the same path if I would have become a self-righteous-or possibly an I'm-a-martyr-type Christian.

I'm not saying that for others to have the same resolutions would end up the same way. In reality it wasn't really as 'dramatic' as it appears to be when I'm actually typing it out. But I don't know how else to try to explain ALL of my feelings without it appearing like some huge deal. It was just a twitching of what I feel was Holy Spirit given guilt. I would think it would be great if others had the same resolution, and felt as close to Him as I did when I was doing it. Satan has his way of trying to pry his way into any nook and cranny he can...especially when he thinks there is a possibility of us growing closer the the Lord, and for me that was one of the places he started trying to get into, without making it obvious.

I still try to spend time with the Lord, but I don't have a set time, or way of doing so. Some of my most heartfelt prayers are while I'm cooking at work, and have had some time to think about random things throughout the day or week, and can utter a quick prayer of requests or thanks.

Another reason I don't make a general 'spiritual' resolution is because of the fact that it's so easy for us to mess up. For example, if I would make the resolution to give 100% of myself to the Lord this year, and had a time of messing up I think it would be easier for me give up--thinking that I already broke it.

With all that being said, I do have many GOALS for the year. As you all know, I have a LOT I need to do better on!

So, this year (Other than my chapter a day) I have one of the craziest, stupidest, most ridiculous resolutions possible to have! It should be very easy to accomplish within a short time, but, it is something that will have to be kept up on, so it will still be 'work.' =)   (And no, it's NOT to loose weight! :-p)

And I do apologize for the long post...once my scrambled mind gets started thinking on something it generally goes through a looong tube of bumps and turns and sometimes dead ends before actually getting to the end of my ramblings! I would recommend you skip reading this post if it's to terribly long and boring to get through. But, of course...it's to late now, because you read it all. *inserts a mean little laugh here*

Hope you all have a blessed New Year!