Depression

Depression:

A depressed or sunken place or part; an area lower than the surrounding surface.  

sadness; gloom; dejection.

I don't think there is one of us humans alive that hasn't been depressed at one time or the other. Its something we all go through. I've struggled a LOT with depression pretty much all my life. It was, and still tries to be a lot of my mindset. Many times there was absolutely nothing to be depressed about, but I would be depressed anyway.

It was really crazy. I mean, Christians aren't supposed to get depressed, right? They have a goal and purpose for life. And they don't have to feel lonely because they have Him with them all the time, and that's all they need. Right?...RIGHT?!?!

However, even with that mindset, I would get depressed. And I think Satan used it as a tool against me. I'm not saying that all those who get depressed are being used by Satan. I'm saying he used it on ME.

Finally, I started realizing what a crutch it was to me. I would get home from work and just SIT there till bedtime, thinking how horrible life was. Or when I would work around the house I just didn't feel like there was any reason for it. It was so monotonous...
I've never really grew up with a certain 'close' friend like my sisters had, so I would undermined the friends I did have, thinking that because I didn't have a 'close, sisterlike' friendship with one certain girl, like my sisters had, that I didn't have any friends. Always wondering why I had to be made with the personality that I had. My siblings had to put up with me. And I'm sure I hurt them! They would want to do something fun and I was so selfish because I 'felt depressed' that I wanted 'me' time. And, I started to get this lingering fear in my heart. I can't explain it, I just had a fear. Or maybe it'd be a more accurate to say a dread of life.

I'm not saying that I didn't have good deep communion with God at this time. After getting saved I had a deep peace and joy from knowing Him. But Satan finds ways to try to drive a wedge between us and our creator! He knew that if he could get me depressed than I wouldn't feel like putting my whole heart into serving the Lord like I should. There was a deep joy in my life, but it would be clouded over with a deep dark cloud of something else...

It was in this communication the God over a period of a few days that the Holy Spirit started to reveal to me that with allowing the indulgence of having my 'Let me just be depressed' times, it was becoming more and more of a mindset, and a wedge between us. What started out as a few pondering moments started to become a habit and mindset that was keeping me from seeing some of the promises of God, and the HOPE that is there!

It just hit me a couple days ago how much He has helped me make a complete turn around! Before there was the occasion when I would feel excited about life. Now its more like the occasion when I'm depressed. I still do get depressed at times (Who doesn't?) but with me learning to daily ,moment by moment focus on putting my trust in the Lord and then leaving it there (Instead of trusting the Lord, but still thinking about lifes battles) I think my mind has been trained more into seeing the good and excitement of life!

Training my mind moment by moment to look at the good of things took a lot of effort for me. I had to concentrate on praying and asking God to help me see the good, and learn from the bad, and not allowing my family to have to see my depressed times, and making myself be happy for them. But, with the Lords help I can look back and be amazed on the difference there is from just a little over a year ago!

Having the Holy Spirit live inside me is SUCH a blessing! Little did I realize at the time that there even was a wedge, and I'm so glad that He brought it to my attention before it became something big.

I know this is like a totally boring post, but for me it is so encouraging to see how He completely changed my whole mindset from what it was a couple years ago! And my cup is so completely overflowing with not only joy, but an excitement to live this life that He has given us :D

I am so glad that I have a companion to helps me see the weeds and traps in the road as I continue on this journey of life with Him <3

Its a small world!

The last couple years I've been especially AMAZED at how small our world actually seems to be!

During our last trip we went to a church that told us about some missionaries to the Arapaho Indians they are supporting...Guess who we met last week at some revival meetings here in Powell?!?! Yup! We got to meet them :)

The other day I got on facebook and seen that two of my friends from different states than mine, and different states than each other, with little in common were friends...its like 'Wow, I didn't know they knew each other!'

Or when working at Dairy Queen a couple times in the past people that I've met on our tours will happen to come in!

Walmart is our biggest meeting place! I can't tell you how many times we've met, re-met, or seen people that we knew in the past, or that somehow knows our relatives or something! Its really neat! Part of its because we live in a big tourist town, but really...how often would they stop in at walmart the EXACT time we do the same day? I wonder how many people we actually miss!! (Maybe I should start working there :-D)

March Challenge

March Meditation

This year at my ladies Bible study we've been studying how is Israel in Isaiah's time professed faith, but they did not possess faith. I think in this day and age its so easy to say we are going to obey/trust in the the Lord, but then we tend to do our own thing.

So, a great way to posses more faith, is to realize that we have to trust in Him. In Israels day many of them were turning to false gods/idols. Many of them believing that there were more than just the one and only God, the alpha and omega.

We as Christians tend to do the same thing. We might not worship some handmade idol made of gold, but we put other things in place above God. For example, trusting in the fact that if we make enough money for the future that maybe we can have ourselves a nice house, maybe debt-free, so we never have to worry about the bank taking over. And guess what...before we know it we have put our trust in MONEY, thinking that our future will then be 'safe'. Spending more time at work trying to get money than time with God, trying to get to know Him better. OK I know, when you have to work you have to work, and there is nothing wrong with it...as long as you don't place it above God!

It is easy though, to let things or thoughts get their little foot in the door, which is why I'm going to post this challenge for this month. Any meditation on scripture is good, but for this month I'm going to specifically try to remind myself to stay away from and 'idols' that may be trying to wiggle their way into my life.

This Months Challenge

Find out what your potential 'idol' might me. Remember, and idol is ANYTHING that is put higher than God, it may be something good--like family--but if its put higher than God its an idol. Find at least two verses to back you up on why, how, or what you might do to place God first in your life, or how this might be an idol in your life. Basically on how you can be reminded to place God first in your life.

Write these verses down on post-it notes and place them in different places that you would be able to see through-out the day (Sock drawer, fridge, steering wheel of your car, etc.) As you read them this month memorize them, and determine in your heart you are going to put God first in your life <3

Monthly Challenges

Life
It can have many challenges and many surprises
So many memories and also come crises'
There are lots of times when you feel like you're failing
And that on the train of life you are de-railing
There is one thing that we all have in common
One on which all of us have fallen on
But it is the most important one
One which we can say we're done
Or that will cause us so much fun
Choices

As I journey through life I found that other than God, the most important thing is choices we make! There are so many times I've made some really dumb choices and regretted it. There are also times when I made a choice that I felt was the right thing-and never regretted it.

I will admit to you that I have many faults and failings. But I decided since this is (Close enough to) the beginning of a new month that maybe I would challenge myself to work on one thing that I could choose to try to improve in my life.

Some of these will be stupid I'm sure. But today I realized how much I needed to work on, and a LOT of it is basic stuff! Like taking time to smell the roses :)

As I type I have no idea yet on what my challenges will consist of, but I know most, if not all will take a lot of prayer!

Because I do better when I am accountable to others, I thought that maybe if I would post my monthly challenges...and my strategies for doing them, here on this blog it would hold me more accountable to make sure I try to finish them off. I'm sure I will have many shortcomings and backsliding, but maybe it will help?!?!

Oh, and I would LOVE for others to do these challenges with me <3 Even if you don't do all of them, if you find a month where you think you might want to work on something too, please join me. And let me know if you are going to do them so I know I'm not alone in this challenge :)

You may find my ways of trying to carry out my strategy kind of quirky and wacky at best, and if you find other ways to try the challenge. GO FOR IT!

I'll close this up for now, but you can be sure I'll try to post when I think of what I'm going to start out March with ;)

(Attempted) Painting



A couple years ago mom and Kim bought some paints and took some lessons on how to paint. They had fun while doing so, but in the past years the paints and supplies have pretty much just sat there. So the other night I decided to see if my sister in law would want to try painting-since we happened to have the stuff, and we talked about it earlier :) It was tons of fun! By the end I was tired of it though!

Alyssa's picture in progress



Karissa's and mine. *Please excuse my stupid look!!*

For some reason I loved this picture of Alyssa's...something about mountains coming out of the sky that was just plain neat :)

Our finished work!!
Ta da!

Karissa's Cow

My flowers



JaLynn did Jesus' cross and a picture of her cat slippers





Alyssa's finished piece

We had a lot of fun doing them. I did learn that no matter HOW pretty you think they are going to be in your head it just doesn't turn out the way you imagined you were going to do it!!

Maybe if we do it again before too long we'll still be in a little bit of practise ;)