Getting Excited

I'm getting so excited for the next three weeks!

May 25th is a special day for more than just me. First off it's both Dad and Moms Birthday. Also, it's the due date for my sisters second baby. AND it's the due date for 'my' baby. No need to worry though, 'my' baby is actually my mares foal! 

We are also having a couple families from Gospel Express Prison Ministries down and doing a music festival that evening. 

Whew! Things have been getting extremely busy here! We started up the irrigation yesterday. So between that taking an extra hour every morning and evening maybe it's a good thing I won't be able to ride my horse for a month :)

A Combo :D

Recently I've done a personal blog post on my family's blog and put a bunch of pictures on facebook. However, since I have some different readers on my blog than the families, and since not everybody got to see the pictures I put on facebook I decided to combine the two and make it into another post. Sorry to those few of you who read the families blog AND are on my facebook :p


These two posts really don't have much in common, but they ARE both about horses (And my obsession with them) so I am allowed to combine them. Right?!?! After all, it's not totally the same...I changed a word here and there-ish.

These here are pictures of my mare :)

 Yup! She is def prego!

 I absolutely love her mane!

 Baby is getting big...no back cinch :)

 Oh, so fun!

 Yeehaw!

 Let's try some counter-flexing here

Doing the 'running walk...' which I have a hard time getting her into

 Yup, I sore do...

 Love this...

 Horse 'o mine!

Last week I had the coolest opportunity to buy the most awesomesthorse! He is a (registerable) 4 year old Tennessee Walker gelding that not only is a half brother to the foal I'm expecting, BUT related in three different ways to Roy Roger's horse Trigger (Jr.) The part that I liked the best was that he was extremely cheap :D So, I did what all smart people do and bought him!

However, I have been struggling with making sure my priorities are in the right place. Because of taking reigning classes with my mare the past 6 weeks I've spent an extreme amount of time riding and working with my horse. And even though that in itself is not wrong, I've started feeling like I've been placing that above some other things important to me. (Like spending time with my siblings, or doing my share of the work) So after praying about it I decided to place it on the Lords hands, and be willing to do whatever He wants me to do.

I heard my Uncle was looking for a horse, so I decided that I'd sell it to him for the same price I bought him for, and if he bought him, fine. If he didn't I'd train him for a few months and sell him at a nice profit later on this year (Or next :)) Or maybe even keep him...it would be so cool to have a horse related to my favorite star, and he sure looked like he'd turn out to be an awesome one! I asked the Lord to lead in whatever way He wanted for me.

My uncle did end up buying him, and as much as I'm tempted to be depressed because I like him so much and feel like I gave up a deal of a lifetime, I am also glad because I do know in my heart that I decided to give it to the Lord, and I feel like this is His answer to prayer. It's better for me, my family, and definitely for my uncle, of whom I may tend to be a teeny tad bit jealous of :p lol

 As much as I LOVE working with horses I've been feeling like the Lord has been telling me to quit making it as much of a priority. However, now that that is over and done I'm having some serious drawbacks, and as much as I want to (and thought I did) give it over to the LORD I find myself a little bitter-ish or angry-is that that is what He wanted me to do...and I cry...a lot because of my own selfishness. I know that He had His hand in this, but if all of you all could pray for me I would REALLY appreciate it.  =)

I used to have that!

Heat surged into my face as my heart sank into a searing pain--pain coming from a sense of loss and hurt pride. Keeping my head down in fake concentration to the supper I was making. Embarrassment comes rather hard to me, as they say everybody struggles more with either jealousy or pride, and mine is definatly pride! 

Karissa had come home from work saying how our niebor had told her he seen my horse weaving all over the road the other day. "You're gaining a reputation, Julie!" My brother announces when he heard the story. I'm pretty sure he was also referring to last summer when, after getting off my horse to tie my shoe two miles away (She was nervous and jumpy, thus keeping me from wanting to do it in the saddle) and I let go of her rope for just a teensy tinsy little bit--basically long enough for my horse to realize it and take off running down the road as fast as a horse can go towards home, and I, trying to look like a casual walker out for a leisurely stroll start heading home. A niebor that I knew from BSF stopped by and offered a ride, so I admitted to her that my horse took off without me :p Meanwhile, another neibor who seen me head out came to the conclusion that I must have been thrown, so he takes off on the 4-wheeler to catch my horse. Dad happened to be coming home from town at the time, and wondered what in the world our neibor was doing holding a riderless horse that look suspiciously like mine, only to find out it had our brand on it! Oh, and I didn't mention that I lost both stirrups in the process, so later spent two hours on the 4-wheeler driving back and forth, back and forth until I could recover all the pieces. Perhaps Joe was also talking about last year when I hopped off my horse to discipline my new dog, who stopped where some neibors were working on their fence and wouldn't 'come on' with me, and the little teeny tiny moment that I let go of my reins gave my horse just enough time turn her head away and...yup head home as fast as her legs would carry her. Grrr Whatever the case, I don't think the fact that I'm gaining quite the reputation could be argued against.

"Don't these neibors know ANYHTHING about horses? Of COURSE  she was weaving on the raod, she was scared of that backhoe bucket and I was trying to get her to walk up to it. I mean, that's the reason I took her out  in this 50 mph wind was because she gets so spooky in it and needs to be worked in it more. But, they ARE from CA!"

So many people who's never had a horse see movies and dream of the perfect horse that, not only can run for miles on end, but loves it. They have no idea of the time and effort it takes just to teach a horse to willingly walk away from the barn, or to stand still ground tied when you jump off for a minute (Believe me, I know THAT takes time!) They think a horse lives and dreams about what a wonderful relationship he can have with  you. And, I have to say that there is NOTHING more wonderful than having a beautiful realationship with your horse!

What many of our newer neibors don't realize is that I used to have that!

His registered name was Secret Weapon because of the story about a baseball player that was so short they called him their 'secret weapon' because no pitcher could pitch inside his strike zone, because he was short. 

Later we started calling him George because a friend came out to ride him and said he reminded her of a guy named George and the name stuck ;)

 Dad had given him to me as newborn foal. He didn't realize it, but to me it was a miracle because he'd always said that he wasn't going to give horses to the girls-they could ride his--God answers prayers though, even when they are sometimes selfish, and at a point in my life I didn't think I could LIVE if I didn't have my own horse!

 He taught me patience. First off because I had to wait at least three years to ride him, and next off it was the first horse I've ever trained from the start. I realized there was a difference between just making the horse obey, and actually teaching/training a horse what something means from the beginning.

 In a way he was my soul mate. I spent MANY hours just being around him, doing school on his back, taking a nap between his legs when he was lying down (NOT something I would recommend btw! I was young and stupid at the time) teaching him how to kiss and bow--only to later have to 'untrain' him in those areas because I never knew how to teach him to do it only upon cue. (Yeah, farriers generally don't like it when your horse tries to lay-down/bow when you pick up their feet!)

 He knew how to tell what I was thinking. Eventually we were able to go saddless and bridleless anywhere I wanted to go, and many times we would go down the the road beside the lake and canter galore! I learned to read his every thought also. He LOVE to do a slow collected lope on ANY new road we took. It was kind of  our trade-mark =)

 He did have his quarks. Because I'm hardly ever able to go up in the mountains he never really was a good mountain horse. He had quite the personality, and he became quite 'companyized' He learned it was pretty cool to do dumb things when  inexperienced people tried to ride him...gaining a reputation among those.

 But he also taught others how to ride. It was so awesome to see younger kids get so excited when they ran for the first time, or to put my little siblings on him bareback and they could just ride around the house and know he wouldn't kill them :p

 Eventually I decided that maybe I should sell him because I'd 'adopted' a wild horse and never really had the time to train her. It was a hard decision, and one that I would never ever do again, but we all have our weak moments, and because he was smaller and did have a hard time keeping up with the other horses I thought I would like a horse with a little more endurance, along with the fact that he was worth more since the new mare I bought was basically worthless since she was only green broke and still so spooky. I sold her to a wonderful lady who's riding style reminded me so much of my own. (He was basically a one-mans horse, thus being great at reading my mind, but not quite as certain what others expected when others rode him) She fell in love with him right away, and he seemed to be able to 'read' her just as he did me. I am ever so grateful she was the one who bought him, because he was so special to me, and I don't think others with different styles would have been able to appreciate him nearly as much.

 Since then I have been able to spend more time with my 'wild' mare, and have to remind myself that it took seven years to get George to the point he was at. At times it's hard not to panic, because I don't want to wait that long! Along with the fact that she is a very alert horse and tends to spook easily it may take longer---if she ever does get to that point. We've had good times, and then we've had bad times. (Obviously!) I love her though, and am looking forward to the day I can ride her to town with cars and motorcycles whizzing by and her not make one peep :-)

Still, every time I see  picture of a horse bowing down, or kissing, or relaxed while their rider takes a break. Someone standing on their horses back. A bombproof, spook-less horse, someone running bareback. I just can't help but think....

"I used to have a horse like that!"

Of New Years Resolutions

This year I've had a hard time coming up with a New Years resolution. My last one was to not drink any pop/soda. I've broken it a few times, but other than at one of my friends weddings that I was helping out, and gulped down like 6 glasses of punch without realized till like three days later that it had ginger ale in it, it was only a sip from my siblings glass before realizing 'oh yeah, this is pop.' I'm pretty proud of myself :-)

I have a standing resolution to read at least a chapter of the Bible every day. I realize that that isn't a hard one, and I highly recommend reading more than that, but it would be a lie to say that I've ever kept it the whole year through. As much as I would like to, with my job schedule I can't 'plan' on any certain 'quiet time'. It all depends on who I am working for, and what schedule I am on, but there is no way I can predict (On the days I work, or have 24 hr shifts) what my clients are going to need, nor when they will wake up or go to bed, or what they will be doing throughout the day. So, as of yet as much as I hate to say so, I have never gotten through the whole year yet. Maybe this year!! I do think it is good to have that as a standing resolution though :-) And of course, read more than that on days it is possible to do so.

With that said, I have decided that my 'other' resolution wasn't going to have to do with being or making myself more spiritual--and here's why.

So many of us decide we want to 'do something for the Lord' and make our own plans to become what we think we should be for Him. Not that that is wrong in itself. It is good to have personal goals, and give ourselves to the Lord. But, what if what we needed at the beginning of the year isn't what we need nine months later? So well do I remember the time I decided to spend a certain amount of time with the Lord alone every day, either reading my Bible or in prayer. It was good for me, and I learned so much the first couple weeks when I had my ultra concentration on learning. However, as the year went on there were days that were just so busy. I would read a chapter, look at the clock and realize that it had only been two minutes, read another two and a half minutes...and so on. Or there were the instances when I would be reading with my eyes, but my brain was completely in a different place, or praying, but realize I was saying the same things over and over, but with no real sincerity in it.

The breaking point came to me when one day my sister walked into the room during my 'quiet time' and asked me something. I told her quite firmly that this was my 'quiet time' and under no circumstances was I to be bugged during that time. A few minutes later my sister came in (I can't remember if it was the same one or not) and tried talking to me. Anger started to boil down inside me. Couldn't they see that I'm spending time with my Lord?!?! Don't  they realize how hard it is to try to get some alone time in a house where 6 girls shared the same bedroom? I blew up, telling her how un-christian it was to even think about bugging me. I gave myself to God, and was going to give Him my time no matter how I had to do it!

As the days and weeks went on my sisters learned to hate dislike my 'time with God'. They would tip-toe around the room (Not literally :p) and learned to never talk to Julie when she was having her worship. The days we had company were really hard on them, because of late nights and early mornings, and Julie can't help because she's doing her 'time.'

One day I realized that my 'time with the Lord' wasn't doing me any good! Yes, there were days when the Lord showed me something, and I learned a lot. But there were also many days when I just skimmed over as fast as I could, and prayed for the same person over and over...and the part that tore at my heart was that my dear siblings couldn't come to me at just any time during the day and 'talk' between work, regular housework, family time, ect. The only alone time they could've possibly gotten in with me was the 'not allowed to talk' time. I wasn't as close to them, and I had a feeling that they had a fear of my blow-ups that occasionally came up. I can't explain it, but it still tears my heart up when I think about how I tried to shun all others because I wanted to become a better Christian, and I wanted to keep my resolution. Thankfully I think the Lord showed me that it wasn't the time I spent with Him, but the application and the heart. I wonder if I had kept going down the same path if I would have become a self-righteous-or possibly an I'm-a-martyr-type Christian.

I'm not saying that for others to have the same resolutions would end up the same way. In reality it wasn't really as 'dramatic' as it appears to be when I'm actually typing it out. But I don't know how else to try to explain ALL of my feelings without it appearing like some huge deal. It was just a twitching of what I feel was Holy Spirit given guilt. I would think it would be great if others had the same resolution, and felt as close to Him as I did when I was doing it. Satan has his way of trying to pry his way into any nook and cranny he can...especially when he thinks there is a possibility of us growing closer the the Lord, and for me that was one of the places he started trying to get into, without making it obvious.

I still try to spend time with the Lord, but I don't have a set time, or way of doing so. Some of my most heartfelt prayers are while I'm cooking at work, and have had some time to think about random things throughout the day or week, and can utter a quick prayer of requests or thanks.

Another reason I don't make a general 'spiritual' resolution is because of the fact that it's so easy for us to mess up. For example, if I would make the resolution to give 100% of myself to the Lord this year, and had a time of messing up I think it would be easier for me give up--thinking that I already broke it.

With all that being said, I do have many GOALS for the year. As you all know, I have a LOT I need to do better on!

So, this year (Other than my chapter a day) I have one of the craziest, stupidest, most ridiculous resolutions possible to have! It should be very easy to accomplish within a short time, but, it is something that will have to be kept up on, so it will still be 'work.' =)   (And no, it's NOT to loose weight! :-p)

And I do apologize for the long post...once my scrambled mind gets started thinking on something it generally goes through a looong tube of bumps and turns and sometimes dead ends before actually getting to the end of my ramblings! I would recommend you skip reading this post if it's to terribly long and boring to get through. But, of course...it's to late now, because you read it all. *inserts a mean little laugh here*

Hope you all have a blessed New Year!

Random Ramblings

Ever get that feeling that there is so much going on in life and you just HAVE to write it down, but when the time comes to do just that nothing comes to mind? Yup, I've got it. Not that we've done a whole lot the last while, but maybe I could've written it all down while it was still fresh and made whole story about it and made it look like it was cool.

Like the time last week when a friend and I decided to start going to an indoor riding arena during the winter and work with our horses because we don't like to ride in the snow when the ground is slippery, so we head out and of course the ground/roads are slippery so going down the Andy Martin Hill the truck starts to fishtail and gives us a scare of our lives little thrill. What good does it do to go to the arena to avoid weather if we have to go through all that weather to get to it? Its not like its any warmer in there, everybody knows that being indoors away from the sun like that is colder than being outside. Oh, but I WANT to go back!! I could use the fact that we'll be out of the wind for an excuse :D

Or maybe I should write about the time I decided to hook my skis up to the miniature pony and have her pull me in the snow. She pulled me in the snow all right...head first! Instead of going straight she kept wanting to go back to the barn. She'd do a 180* turn bucking and running home while my skis and I were facing the opposite direction. Needless to say...that adventure wasn't even fun. Even when she did go the right way it was a little boring skiing at 2mph :p

Speaking of face in the snow...we decided to go sledding the other day. My sister and I went up last year and had a ball! So we loaded up the little ones and headed out. The place we wanted to go was like an hour or more there, but seeing our options are pretty much limited to just that place (What other hill is there in Wyoming that isn't totally covered in sage brush?) after getting there I realized how cold I really was! It was so sunny I didn't really dress up to much. Anyway, my younger sisters started complaining about how little the hill was. "I thought you said we'd be going down a steep hill!" "It IS steep once you get to the top!" "This is so stupid...it's not even going to be fun." Well, after they got to the top it took them five minutes to get the courage to come down! haha I literally forced my youngest sister onto the sled and told her I was going to let go whether she hung on or not. After forcing her fingers to hold onto the sled I let her fly! Needless to say, that one ended in tears. Yeah, I'm pretty much the meanest sister ever now. After going down only three times we decided to head home. We were cold, and my sisters brand new inter tube she bought popped on the second time down. It was fun though...

I'm looking forward to a break from keeping such a busy schedule with Christmas coming up. I love going to BSF, but doing my homework everyday gets to be a lot sometimes, and I do feel a little pressured when I don't have it all finished. I think that's why I learn so much from it, because I'm actually forced heavily encouraged to get into scriptures and study and learn so much. Every week I am amazed at our Almighty God! I can feel His Spirit in me so much more when I'm actually spending time in His word. It's awful that I'm looking forward to a break, really.

Speaking of Christmas, what do you all think about celebrating Christmas? I've seriously had my doubts as to whether we should celebrate it at all because of its pagan origins, and I can find lots of scripture to support my facts, but is it worth making a stink over whether we should celebrate it or not? I don't know...at times I think we should stay away from it, because what harm would it do to stay away from it? Where as, it could bring sorrow to God if He sees us trying to mix paganism with Christianity. Other times I think of it as an absolute good, and as long as our hearts are right, and we keep in mind the true meaning of Christmas. I guess I'm like the double-minded man spoken of in James--driven with the wind and tossed :)

Oh, and that reminds me that I desperately need to put a new background on my blog! I stuck the present one on early this spring thinking I'd change them as the season changed. Julie, you can be such an idiot! Wish I knew how to make my own backgrounds :D (Not that I would do them! haha)

Well, apparently I have nothing important to say on here, so maybe I should get off the computer and do something profitable. Yes, I know this post is just a lot of mixed up brumble...I have no mind whatsoever today!

Until next time let us continue to run our race with patience, looking to the Lord for direction, and look forward (without fear) to the journey set before us!

Deer Hunt

This is a testimony of how God answers prayer, but not always in the exact same you expect it!

I had a deer and antelope tag this year. And because of trying to juggle my hunting schedule with my work and BSF volunteering schedule I couldn’t seem to really be able to have the ambition to try to bother taking a lot of time off work for hunting. Especially since I’d been taking a lot of extra days here and there off the last while. So, I decided on getting off work one day, and ONLY have that day for hunting my deer. We had plenty of meat already, so I didn’t want to get something terribly small just to butcher when we didn’t really need it, but I didn’t necessarily have time to go hunting every day and wait for a big one either. So, in my mind I picked out about the size of deer that I would shoot. And if a bigger one happened to come along…great! Haha

So, remembering how much work I put Joe through last year when I shot my elk in the foot and had to track it on foot for 10+ miles and ended up shooting the wrong deer, plus the fact that I only had one day to hunt, and that I since it would be the first time Duane was going to take me out by himself and I wanted it to be easy on him. I prayed that I would get a deer right away if possible, or at least that day…and that I wouldn’t miss it and it would drop on the first shot so we wouldn’t have to worry about it. (Sounds like a selfish prayer doesn't it?)

I prayed and prayed that it would be the perfect, quick hunt. (It was--as far as the hunting part was concerned)

So, we got up early that morning and drove the truck back to where we were going to go in a foot so we wouldn’t spook the deer. We had to hike in about a mile. So I follow Duane in. We got there a little early and it was still extremely dark and I got a little bored walking in so I practiced my ‘Indian walk’ being as quiet as I could. Then I’d realize that I was getting behind so then I’d do a few big really loud pounding steps to catch up on, and then continue on bragging to myself how much quieter I could walk than Duane when I got back to my ‘Indian walk’ :p

I realized how extremely out of shape I was when we had to climb a little bitty hill and I started sounding like a big steam engine almost imediently after we started to climb. No wonder all my younger sisters win me when we wrestle!

When we got to the top of the hill we pretty much had to wait till it was light enough to legally shoot. It was cool though because we seen deer right away, and right close there was the Antler Ranch that had a bunch of buffalo grazing. I kind of enjoyed watching them! I didn’t realized they ran a round so much just for the fun of it. Most of the time I see them I don’t watch them long enough for anything. They’re pretty much always eating. It was cool to see them move like a big ol’ cloud all over the hillside straight towards us.

Anyway, as soon as it started getting light we could see that some of them were bucks! And, the good Lord answered my prayer. It was the most perfect hunt you could ask for. As soon as it was light enough we snuck up on them pretty close --175 yards. I shot and he dropped =) Wasn't that an answer to prayer! I quartered him out and drug him to the road while Duane went back to get the truck…now that we didn’t have to be quiet anymore :p

As soon as he got there we loaded up and I started driving home. It was perfect! I was like amazed at how He answered my selfish prayer! It was still early enough that we could’ve gotten home, butchered and I could went to my night job at 8:00. Did you notice that I wrote could’ve? It didn’t quite happen that way!

Apparently God decided to show me that He can and does answer prayers, but I didn’t build up a reputation of being accident prone for nothing! Driving back the road came to a Y in the road. I asked Duane what road he came on. He said to take a right…then as soon as I passed he said “Oh, I guess it was a left, but keep on going this road will probably meet up.” So I went a little farther and noticed that the road just kinda ended. I was still trying to decided if I should stop and back up, or just go a little further and meet up with the road when I noticed I hit mud. Me, being the intelligent person that I am decided to keep my speed so I wouldn’t get stuck. Yeah right! After about two feet all of a sudden the whole front of the truck sank down the axles in mud!

We tried EVERYTHING to get that truck out. We gathered all kinds of rocks, and stuck wood blocks. Pretty much anything we could think of. Finally Duane decided he had to hike back down to the road to get cell phone service and call Joe to come and get us out of our predicament. I sure felt bad for him! I could tell he was regretting ever agreeing to take me!

Joe was busy mounting a deer, so he called our ‘adopted’ brother Bryan and asked him to take his (Joe’s) truck and come pull us out. It really was sweet of Bryan to agree to do it, since we were hunting like 2 hours away…

Anyway, to make a long story short. After waiting a couple hours and gathering a bunch of rocks Bryan comes along to the rescue…bringing Karissa who was laughing her head off at me and making fun of me because I was the one driving and its just to typical of me to get into those kind of fixes.

The main thing Bryan didn’t want to do was get Joe’s truck stuck. So once we realized there was no way we were going to be able to get Duane’s truck unstuck we decided to all pile in Joe’s truck and go back and get help or something. But, we HAD to try one more time- and guess what? Yup! We got Joe’s truck stuck too! Clear down the the axles! Oh no!

We tried everything we could do to get that unstuck! They even tried my dumb idea of jacking up the truck and sticking rocks under the tires…which didn’t work cause the rocks just sunk. By this time we’re pretty sure that both Dad and Joe would kill us!

After a couple of hours trying we decided that all we could do was pretty much go back to the road and call a tow truck or something. We weren’t even sure a tow truck could get up there on them roads!

At this point Karissa is still laughing her head off and telling me to cheer up and think of it all as an adventure…which would’ve been fine if it was for the fact that I knew I was going to get killed when I got home, along with the fact that I knew Duane felt bad and Bryan convinced me it was going to cost 2 k to get it out. IF we could get it out all all before winter! “Just be happy it’s not worse!” Karissa said. “Karissa, it CAN’T get worse” Bryan said “Both trucks are STUCK! There’s no way it could get any worse.” Yeah, right…we had to remind him he said that….after it got worse…

Walking down the road we came upon a ranch hand from Antler Ranch. We knew he probably had seen our strange sight and was checking up to see what in the world was going on. He told us that driving up we crossed like 35 feet of private property, and that his boss was really mad! Yup, things can ALWAYS get worse! Believe me! So he was going to go back to his boss and tell him a little bit on what was up, and told us to keep walking down to the highway. So, we walked to the highway and still couldn't really get cell phone service--much to Bryan's annoyance because he was supposed to take his girlfriend on a date at noon and had no way of calling her and telling her he wasn't going to make it :/

When the ranch hand came back he said that his boss was hopping mad and that he called the sheriff and said that if we had a tow truck or anyone else drive up that road they were going to charge a trespassing fee. Now what? We didn't know what else to do he recommended us to wait along the road for the sheriff and try to explain things to him before the boss did, and asked Duane if he felt good about that... Duane just told him he didn't feel good at all. haha 

Poor Bryan! The whole sheriff idea scared the living daylights out of him! We were trying to convince him that the rest of our family would come and sing to us while we sat in prison but it didn't seem to console him one bit. I tried to tell him that when he's 80 it'll give him something to tell his grandkids about, but he wouldn't believe me :p (Karissa's not laughing anymore either)

I'm sure we were quite the sight! Here Karissa, Bryan and I are all like super short and look way younger than our age. So there are 4 little kids out there with two trucks stuck to the axles in mud and the wind was blowing, so at least my hair looked quite the sight!

After awhile the game and fish guy came along with the ranch owner. He seemed super mad at first. We tried to tell him we thought the highway right of way covered the 35 feet, and so we didn't realized we were trespassing, along with the fact that we were driving on a road up until the time the road ended. Which we had no proof of, since it ended like right where we sunk. The two men conversed for awhile after they left us and the ranch owner decided he would pull us out with his track hoe for the fee of a normal 3 hour rental. It only took him about 20 minutes but I was tickled pink with that deal! It was a lot cheaper than trying to get some tow truck from Cody to come up! The game warden had decided to give Duane a ticket for driving off the road because he said obviously if a road leads to a swamp, and its not as used as the other one its not a road anymore! (He later told me the ranch owner confirmed that the place we were driving had been a road last year) I'm assuming he had to stick us with something just to show the ranch owner that we couldn't get by with nothing. The funny thing was that I was the one driving when we went of the road. He just thought it was Duane because he asked Duane who was driving when we (Supposedly) trespassed, and at that time it was Duane. So, poor Duane got my ticket! He never told the guy a word about it. They decided to let Bryan off since he was just trying to be a good buddy and help us out. When we first started talking to the G'&F he asked us if we were all siblings. I told him we all were except Bryan, and he didn't WANT to be related to us :p He was sure quick to agree with that!

All in all they were all very good to us. The sheriff arrived and the first words he said were "I know you all-- you sang at my church." Wow, that was kind of embarrassing for this group of outlaws! The ranch hand told him that we just made a stupid mistake and he wouldn't press charges. Then, while Karissa and I were trying to shovel the ruts back in the G&F guy start asking us all about our 'religion' since we were in skirts and such. Yeah, I'm starting to feel kinda like a hypocrite by now. :-p

They all chewed us out a bit, but I suppose we deserved it. I kinda liked them all. I could see they were all a little tickled at the strange situation. I could just see them trying not to outright laugh. When they gave us our 'talking to' we were like scared little 5 year old kids, nodding our heads saying 'yes sir' I don't think they quite knew what to do with us! Bryan had already admitted by then that it pretty much sucked being a good buddy to us! Ha ha

Anyway, it all ended up getting worked out. Duane and I were still pretty scared of Dad and Joe's wrath though. We had gotten a little heads up that Joe was pretty upset, along with the fact that we got like 15 text messages saying "Get service and call me now" The only problem was that we didn't get service to get the messages, and even if we got the messages we couldn't get good enough service to call! It wasn't like we could drive down the road a few miles....

What a huge relief it was to find out that Dad and Joe both thought that it was a public road too. Dad actually went to the courthouse and (Thinks) he found out that it was legal access. He went to the ranch owners place and told him that he was the one who told us to go there, and showed him the maps and GPS boundaries and all. The ranch owner never did admit that it was public access, but he did tell dad that there was a certain guy that had been poaching on his private land, and he thought we were that guy, so called the sheriff cause he wanted to 'get' this notorious guy. After he found out it was just a bunch of stupid kids he wasn't quite so mad! He was a very nice guy, and told dad that we were welcome to come back to that area anytime we wanted. I think dad kinda like him :p

Apparently what made Joe so mad was that mom got the message all mixed up and told everybody that I shot a deer on private property and decided to sneak and use the road so it would be easier to get out, and then got stuck in the mud. She sent all these texts out telling all these people that. They were all praying that we wouldn't go to jail and the trucks and guns wouldn't get confiscated. Yeah, I would be really mad if I was Joe and heard all that too!  (In fact, I did get mad when I heard that!)

So, that was pretty much the most expensive deer hunt I've ever been on. I just couldn't help but wonder..."Didn't I decide last year that I was never going to make my brothers take me on a hunt again?

Homesick

I read my text and close my phone. Tears come to my eyes as I think of all the events that is happening at home; events that I used to enjoy being a part of. Not that it was anything out of the ordinary, it was just plain good ol’ home life. Mom had texted me that Joe got his moose, and Duane was heading home with a nice deer. I remembered how it was to have someone come home from hunting, and we would all run out and crowd around the pickup to see what they got. Or the nice supper that would come afterwards with the comfort that comes with being with those you know and love.

I walk into the living room. Harvey had accidentally changed the channel from his normal Sunday morning Mass to the Hallmark movie channel. It shows a happy family scene, and I tear up again. I am engulfed by loneliness, and thoughts of unfairness start to try to enter my mind.

My phone rings - its mom - I don’t answer it. Most of the time I don’t answer my phone while at work, but today its just the mere fact that I don’t think I can talk to mom and hear all the news without crying, and its not fair to put that on my mom - she’s been trying to get me to quit my job for months.
“So why don’t I quite?” I think. I guess the answer would be that I don’t feel that Its God’s will for me to quit right now. Maybe later I’ll share why, and how I feel about my job. Right now I don’t feel like writing a whole book on it, which is what I’ll probably end up doing! :p

I started to think of the book I read the other day about a pioneer girl who got married and moved out the west, and how she missed her family. I couldn’t understand why I started crying reading about that! I remember when my older sister got married and moved out of state. She said every time she got a letter from the younger ones she would tear up. Although I knew she missed the younger ones at the time, I still had in my mind that she was married to a man that loved her dearly, and had TONS of friends out there, she never really was home much anyway, why does she miss them?

Although I’m not married, and still spend a full day or two home, I STILL miss not being able to be there for the ‘normal life’ that I had growing up. I think of how nothing will ever be the same as it used to be. The oldest two siblings are gone and I miss them! I miss everything about them and wish they were still around to add their imput to my memories. Not to say that I would change things! I love both of my in-laws like crazy, and am so glad that they are now a part of my family. There are new memories…and challenges, and I am looking forward to them. I just have a fear that my old memories will disappear…

Hmmm, dreary day! My eyes are red, and my nose is running…

In all this though, I do know that I am doing the right thing. Sometimes I wonder because I know that family is the most important thing in the world, but what is more important than that is doing the Lords will, and even though I hate to admit it, since working I have grown so much more spiritually. I’m not saying that is the case for everyone, or that it will always be the Lords plan for my life…but with all the
(sometimes selfish) prayers, I do feel confident that this is where God wants me right now. It may change tomorrow, and it may be the same for five years. Whatever the case, I want to be willing to do what HE wants for me…After all, there is no place better to be than in the center of HIS will. (The hard part is knowing what His will is at the moment!)

I don’t want to be complaining about how things are because in reality things really are quite wonderful, and life is still an adventure. Its just that (even though I still live at home) I DO get quite homesick at times! Maybe the Lord is planning something for the future, and is slowly preparing to break away (Africa, here I come! Ha ha) Or maybe He just wanted me to have more quiet time with Him to grow spiritually. Maybe there is a reason I never have or will know, and maybe it’s a combination of everything put together. Whatever the case I just want to be willing to serve the Lord, and if it comes with loneliness than whoop-de-doo! Life is lonely! There has been many times I was just as lonely at home too!