So much has happened in the past two weeks that I don't think there is any possible way to remember much of what happened. But I do know this...it was nice!
I went down to Oklahoma for the past two weeks to stay with my older sister as she was getting close to having her first baby. I can't really say why I went down there. A huge part of it was because I wanted to help her get ready, and be there for her in case the little one came. I so wanted to see my new little niece! Another little part though was that I was tired. Tired of just doing the same thing over and over week after week. Don't get me wrong, I feel very content with my life right now, but I had made a huge life-changing decision prior to that which was extremely hard for me. I felt that it was the Lords will and had such a wonderful peace about it, but it still hurt and I felt that I had to give up something that I never realized I wanted until it came up. It was one of those decisions that I decided to leave up to the Lord and trust His promise for the future. However, I still just wanted to get away from it all.
I had a nice but busy time with my sister. It seems like everyday we had something going on...I didn't really have time to sit and pine away and cry like I wanted to. With all that though I got to know some people a lot better and enjoyed getting to go to Kim's church.
The last weekend I was there her church started their annual December campmeetings. The man who spoke that morning gave us a warning...a warning against letting a 'trojan horse' into your life. There are so many things that we can let into our lives that may not seem wrong or a big deal. In fact, it may seem good! But in reality it could end up destroying you.
The message to me was really good, because that's what I feared when I made this huge decision earlier, that with it would come certain other things that even though they might not be wrong, they certainly wouldn't do any good...it was a huge blessing to me because I really felt like I did the right thing. Even though I won't reap some of the good benefits, I also won't have to reap from the bad that could have come out of it.
So now, even though I physically tired today after going to be really late last night and getting up early to go to work this morning, I feel so RESTED! I feel like my little vacation brought me what I wanted, even though it wasn't in the way I was expecting it to. I feel like I can live again directly for God, looking to Him, without demanding to know what His plans are for me. I can and will live one day at a time under His direction and quit wondering if maybe I made the wrong decision :)