Have you ever been really REALLY mad at somebody? So mad that you actually shook?
I hate to admit it, but a couple years ago that was me. :-( There were a couple ladies that truly wronged my sister and I. These were ladies that I really liked and thought a lot of, and what made me so mad was that I went way out of my way trying to make sure that I treated these ladies as best as I could, and they knew that they were deliberately planning to do this to me.
Now I think I can honestly say that I've never really had a problem loving everybody. I like normal people, and I like weird people, I admire those that keep silent, and I admire those that can think of things to say. There are some people that I feel that I can't connect to as well, but I still like them :)
But, after these ladies did what they did to us, I was MAD! I didn't 'hate' these ladies, but I was super mad at them (So mad in fact, that I shook!) And the sad thing is that I WANTED to be mad. I had a REASON to be mad! THEY were the ones that wronged us for no reason, and everybody knew it!
One day as I was driving to work (I love driving to work, that's when I get most of my thinking done!) I got to thinking about my anger. I knew I had a decision to make...whether to let my thoughts lay in anger, or to forgive. I KNEW what the right choice was (duh!) but in my mind I didn't think it would ever be possible to love these ladies again! Even if I forgave them (Which I kind of thought I already did at that point) I didn't think I could ever talk to them again without being super angry at them. And oh boy! Did I ever feel like being angry!! I just wanted to hang on to that anger with all that I had! However, I knew that this was NOT of God, and if I didn't listen to the Lord I would be listening to Satan.
I already knew that there was no way I could forgive these ladies on my own, but in my car that day I just BEGGED for the power to not only forgive, but to want to forgive (Because I knew it was not right) and to be able think about these ladies without feeling like my heart was being cut out from inside me. In MY mind it was impossible, and it would have been without the Holy Spirit living inside me! He answered my prayer :-) With His help it really wasn't that hard... I still felt that pang of hurt for a long time (And still do at times) It had to be Him because there was no way I could!
I am SO THANKFUL for the POWER that we can have in the LORD! He is so awesome and powerful!
And looking back, I think this whole ordeal was good for me, because I was able to see and feel Him working in my own life, and feel His power. As well as know that when I put my trust in Him He will not fail to keep His promises and give me the ability to overcome sin when I oh, so long to hold on to it!
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.